My Fault

Have you ever blamed someone because you didn’t like how they were treating you? Have you ever considered that the reason why they do these things is because you let them? 

I’ve had the greatest pleasure of choosing psychology as my major. Why? Well it has its benefits of letting you examine human behaviour. My behaviour modification lecturer gave me an important lesson today. It was as if she knew how I was feeling about my current relationship and blessed me with great knowledge. Problem behaviours are normally encouraged because of positive reinforcements. You do something because you know at the end of the day it satisfies a need. 

I realised that the reason why I’m unhappy is because I encourage the problem behaviour. As a woman, I believe that a guy is supposed to know when your girlfriend is unhappy and try in the best way possible to fix it. How can you let someone you love continue to hurt and the excuse you have is that you’re “busy”? Too busy to consider the feelings of someone you call your girlfriend? 

No, I not putting all the blame on him, I am at fault. I don’t vocalize my feelings as soon as Ive been wronged. I overthing and shed tears. I stop talking to you and expect you to know that I’m not happy. I expect you to atleast try to fix it. I expect you to be in the least bit concerned. All these expectations= disappointed.

What to do you then?

If I were to let you know all of the wrongs I’ve experienced in this relationship then you would question why am I still him. Have you ever experienced a love so great that you could see yourself with this person forever? Well I do, if these problems are resolved. The only thing that’s keeping me in this relationship is the hope that one day it will get better.

Is it fair to only hold onto hope? A possibility that things will better. You don’t actually know if this will ever be achieved but you don’t want to let go. If you let go then you’re cheating yourself out something that could be great.

I wish I knew what to do.


6 thoughts on “My Fault

  1. Letting go is really hard to do. We are sometimes afraid to let go, because there is no one there to immediately fill the void that you know that you will have. But love is not supposed to hurt either. However, we are people (sinners) and whether intentionally or unintentionally we sometimes hurt people. Haven’t you ever cut someone off on the freeway? You didn’t mean any harm. It was just an oversight. Well we do it all the time especially in relationships. I believe God has wired us to be in relationship with one another. We through those relationships are challenged with how to love because we are by nature selfish. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to go on and on.

    We’ve all been here before. Yesterday’s Daily Prompt, was a song I had written to capture just that. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi dear, came by your blog on Community pool, I’m also a writer and I truly enjoyed your writeup, however, I think you need to improve on some of your punctuations. It makes reading a lot more enjoyable. Also, if you could get someone to do the editing work for you, it’ll go a long way of helping you fish out certain grammatical or punctuation errors. I understand that sometimes, as writers, our thoughts usually run faster than our finger tips that even when we are going through what we’ve written, it’s very possible that we wouldn’t even see where we’ve made mistakes.

    Thanks a lot for sharing this and I hope you’ll visit my blog too @

    Liked by 1 person

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